There are moments in our lives that makes us stop and ask: “Oh God, were art thou? Why hast thou forsaken me”?

 

I was driving my 4 year old daughter to the emergency room without knowing exactly what was wrong.  The morning of Mar 21st of 2012 we got up and started our morning routines of getting ready to take kids to school.  When I hear my second daughter calling her younger sister’s name in despair.  I went to their room and found Alondra on her back on the floor vomiting.  I picked her up and took her to the bathroom to help her finish vomiting.  As I tried to make her stand up by the toilet I noticed her lack of strength on her body, the right side of her face was paralyzed and she was not talking. As we arrived at the emergency department, the nurse rapidly diagnosed her with a stroke and more nurses and doctors surrounded us in seconds.  Standing there not sure yet on what to expect, I felt numbed. Until reality showed up with a lightening effect and it finally sink in.

 

How can this be possible? How is that a totally healthy 4 year old can have a stroke? Why is this happening? I felt lost and frightened. I couldn’t understand why the stroke? How it happened? Again and again I pictured her eyes looking at mine telling me “I’m hurting and I can’t even tell you” My heart was broken. And my anguish increased enormously by the time. 

 

I imagined her sadness of having the knowledge of not been capable of doing the things she was used to.  I desperately asked: “Oh God, were art thou?[1] Why hast thou forsaken me?[2] And I cried and cried and cried more. 

 

Tests were performed and nothing seemed to get us out of that huge abyss we were in.  Looking at her lying motionless on bed was almost unbearable. We needed to wait and see what time was to bring.  Two days passed by in uncertainty and sorrow. While sitting by her side, waiting not sure for what, I heard a voice on my mind saying: “Stop feeling sad for yourself. Its time to get to work.” And almost instantly I felt peace and I was sad no more. “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you”[3] As we answer the Lord’s call to come unto Him, He will truly “ease the burdens which are put upon our shoulders, that we cannot feel them no more.”[4]

 

I pondered on why is that we have trials and tribulations, even when we are trying to do Heavenly Father’s will? Why is it so hard? To what end? For what purpose?  As I ask these questions, Irealize that the purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences.[5]

 

Does it mean we will always understand our challenges? No. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”[6] Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, “Thy will be done”[7]

This experiences stimulates growth and compassion.  It helps us to come closer to God.  “To get usfrom where we are to where He wants us to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.”[8]

 

In the General Conference of October 1995, Elder Richard G Scott said: “Please learn that as you wrestle with a challenge and feel sadness because of it, you can simultaneously have peace and rejoicing. Yes, pain, disappointment, frustration, and anguish can be temporary scenes played out on the stage of life. Behind them there can be a background of peace and the positive assurance that a loving Father will keep His promises. You can qualify for those promises by a determination to accept His will, by understanding the plan of happiness, by receiving all of the ordinances, and by keeping the covenants made to assure their fulfillment.

“The Lord’s plan is to exalt you to live with Him and be greatly blessed. The rate at which you qualify is generally set by your capacity to mature, to grow, to love, and to give of yourself. He is preparing you to be a god. You cannot understand fully what that means, yet, He knows. As you trust Him, seek and follow His will, you will receive blessings that your finite mind cannot understand here on earth.

 

“To recognize the hand of the Lord in your life and to accept His will without complaint is a beginning. That decision does not immediately eliminate the struggles that will come for your growth. But I witness that it is the best way there is for you to find strength and understanding. It will free you from the dead ends of your own reasoning [9] It will allow your life to become a productive, meaningful experience, when otherwise you may not know how to go on.”[10]

 

It gives me peace to know that Heavenly Father would not require us to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for our personal benefit or for that of those we love.  He will help us.  His help will come step by step, a portion at a time.  While we are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from being enlarged will continue.  If all matters were immediately resolved at our first petition, we cannot grow.  It is trusting in the Lord, in His teachings, to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning.[11]

 

He will place in our path packets of spiritual sunlight to brighten our way. They often come after the trial has been the greatest, as evidence of the compassion and love of an all-knowing Father. They point the way to greater happiness, more understanding, and strengthen our determination to accept and be obedient to His will.  The fullness of the restored gospel gives us perspective, purpose, and understanding. It allows us to face what otherwise appear to be unjust, unfair, unreasonable challenges in life.[12]

 

He sends his countless heavenly and earthly angels to surround us.  To lift us up, to hold our hands,  to pray with us and for us.  To carry us through their service, care and love.  They come and do our yards, organize and clean our homes, feed us, take care and play with siblings, visit us at home and in the hospital.  They do our laundry and call with encouragement. “For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in. “Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. …“… Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:35)”[13]

I am pleased to say that it has been almost 4 weeks since Alondra’s stroke and she is walking, almost running.  She still needs to learn to talk and strengthen her right arm and hand but to see how happy she is, feels my heart with gratitude and humility. “Behold it was our faith and the faith of our brethren which wrought so great a miracle among us”[14]

 

 

 

[1] D&C 121:1

[2] Mark 15:34

[3] John 14:18

[4] Mosiah 24:14

[5] Waiting upon the Lord, October 2011, General Conference, Elder Robert D Hales

[6] Psalms 30:5

[7] 3 Nephi 13:10

[8] Trust in the Lord, October 1995, General Conference, Elder Richard G Scott

[9] Trust in the Lord, October 1995, General Conference, Elder Richard G Scott

[10] D&C 24:8

[11] Proverbs 3:5-6

[12] Trust in the Lord, October 1995, General Conference, Elder Richard G Scott

[13] Matthew 25:35

[14] Ether 12:15